Moe began his life of crime while still in diapers, (that's not quite as precocious as it sounds since he wore them well into his teens), but it was an early start nonetheless. One can only imagine the teasing Moe endured during those early diaper years on the Lower East Side and it was surely during this period that his wholly rotten character was formed. Moe hates everyone and everything except bribery, extortion, murder and cheap Cuban cigars.
 
Cruella Crimson
Cruella Crimson launched her career as the inventor of the Discount Outlet House of Ill Repute. Featuring "slightly irregular" ladies, and recently "discontinued" models at rock-bottom prices, she's made a fortune off of New York's less discerning johns. That early success has only made her more ambitious, more ruthless and even less hygienic. Stay far away.
 
Lord Blueblood
Lord Blueblood was born Morris Minsky of the Bronx. Everyone knows this, but if he catches you saying it you might as well start the paperwork on that death certificate. His Lordship is infamous for his keen business sense, his ruthlessness, and his hysterical hissy-fits. He is equally lethal with his walking stick and the throwing "scones of death" he keeps in his top hat.
 
Stinky Corleone
If any scientist were insane enough to care to study what constitutes a lethal dose of gnocci, Stinky Corleone would be his ideal test subject. Stinky has eaten more gnocci than any other human... perhaps more than all other humans. Although still technically alive, Stinky has been confined to his bathroom for the past 14 years, awaiting what he calls "Da day of deliverance." While this has certainly cut down on Stinky's social calendar, it has also afforded him ample time to expand his criminal enterprises.
 
Miss DeMeanor
Enid DeMeanor is a daughter of New York Society. When her father, J.P. DeMeanor, was informed that she was running a bootlegging operation out of her dorm room at Vassar, he summoned her home to keep a closer eye on her. Enid has proven to be more than a match for her father, however, and now controls one of the largest crime families in New York... right under his nose. Miss DeMeanor has no need for money - she just likes to hurt people.
 
Don D'Oro
Don D'Oro wears platform socks and cowboy boots, and still stands no more than four feet tall . Because of this, he gets very little respect from the heads of the other families. In fact, at one meeting of the Capos back in Sicily, Don Scungelli carelessly rested his uzo glass on Don D'Oro's head. D'Oro bit his kneecaps off, but the jokes of "coaster head" have followed him to America. Don D'Oro loves gold, and hates you.
 
Granny Dirtnap
Granny Dirtnap machine-gunned half the town of Ballyhooie because she didn't "like the looks of them". That's perhaps the nicest thing that can be said about her. The remaining half of Ballyhooie, being not at all pleased, forced Granny to flee to America stuffed in a sailor's old sock-locker. Needless to say, this has not improved her disposition. How St. Patrick missed Granny Dirtnap when he was chasing the snakes out of Ireland remains one of the Church's greater mysteries.
